[nothing to write]

this internet connection really is pissing me off! it's getting suckier and suckier from time to time. i guess i really need that adsl connection coming up to my place. will call the telstra guy tomorrow. and if i don't receive the adsl starter pack by the day after tomorrow, i'm gonna give him an earful of mine. i wonder whether he could stand that. we'll see...

[menye2 mode, ON]
why am i missing my man so badly these couple of days? *sigh*
[/menye2 mode, OFF]

Internet Addiction Disorder (!!)*

internet addiction disorder is a psychological disorder which has distressing implication for one's psychological, physical, and social well-being. the symptoms are:

1. they build tolerance on the internet. that is, if they feel the need for more exposure to the internet in order to fell the same amount of satisfaction as with previous as with previous amounts of exposure.

2. they experience withdrawal symptoms after they stop using the internet (including the feelings of anxiety or obsessive thinking about what they are missing online).

3. they find themselves accessing the internet more than they intend to or they accsess it for longer periods of time than they intend to.

4. they have a desire to reduce or have been unsuccessful in reducing internet use.

5. they spend a good deal of time with activities related to the internet (buying internet-related books).

6. they neglect to attend to social, occupational, or recreational activities beacuse of the internet.

7. they continue to use the internet despite and obvious problem with their health, relationship, job, or mental health because of their internet use. *

* taken from Online Communication, linking Technology, Identity and Culture, by Wood n Smith, NJ, 2001.

how many question did you say "YES" to the questions above? it's funny how i didn't say "YES" to any of the questions. however i must admit that i'm such an internet addict. still in a good way though *self defence mechanism, ON* :D

i would say i only addicted to the internet in a good way because, after stuck in this goddamned house because of this stewpid sickness for about a week, i still miss my real life. i miss going out, i miss the weather ( i supposedly celebrate this spring weather), i miss everything. even i miss my school. shhesssh... oh well, i guess i'm just a bit exaggerating here.

quote of my day: hey! this is marge simpsons! @@@@:-D

sickness vs boredom.

this sickness is not getting any better. some said it's got worsen bcuz of my boredom, and some said it's simply bcuz i'm so stressed out about my school n tasks. i would say, B O T H. *sob*

and yes, life really is boring around here. am i just bored, or am i such a boring person? oh god.

ps: misery does love company. so let's join this world, my world, of misery. who'd like to be my company??

quote of my day: "joey doesn't share fooooddd!!" -joey tribbiani-

who the hell are you to judge me!?!

ok, imagine you're in this situation.

lo sakit. lo bener-bener gak bisa bangun. bangun cuma bener-bener ke kamar mandi dan hal-hal penting lainnya. gak bisa masak. gak bisa nyuci piring karena berdiri lama-lama aja lo pusing. dan udaranya gak ngedukung sama sekali. sering banget ujan dan lain-lain. dan lo tinggal sendiri. ada sih orang, tapi gak mungkin dong tiap saat minta tolong. namanya juga cuma temen, bukan sodara apalgi keluarga. itupun lo udah bersyukur, karena lo masih dimasakin, karena lo masih dikunjungi. dan lain-lain.

trus.. tugas sekolah lo numpuk banget. dari cuma baca textbook yang amit-amit tebelnya buat bahan diskusi di tutorial, draft essay, sampe bahan presentasi. semuanya numpuk nunggu buat diselesein.

untungnya lo punya seseorang. yang katanya sayang, yang katanya mau ngebantuin elo dalam masalah apa pun. bener-bener tulus sayangnya, katanya. cinta mati, lagi-lagi katanya. dan ok, sebagai manusia yang mempunyai sisi oportunis, lo pun minta tolong sama ni orang, si orang yang katanya sayang itu. minta tolong buat ngebantuin brainstorming essay. cuma mbantuin, tanpa ada niatan menyuruh apalagi memerintah.

tapi.. lo tak kunjung minta tolong sama ni orang. karena itu tadi, lo sakit. yang bener-bener sakit notabene sama sekali gak bisa keluar rumah.

tiba-tiba.. lo benar2 dihakimi. dibilang, kasarnya (dia gak bener-bener bilang begini), "udah bagus mo ditolongin, eh malah santai-santai aja". dibilang "emang gue kerjaannya cuma mbantuin elo aja, i've plenty more significant works to be done", dan dibilang lain-lain. singkatnya, dia bilang kalo dia udah nyedian tiga hari buat ngebantuin elo bikin tugas, eh elonya malah santai-santai. dia bilang dia udah gak peduli lagi sama masalah kuliah gue. dan segala macem endrebre endrebre lalilulelo etcereta etcetera lainnya.

what would you do?

kalo gue, tiba-tiba gue sadar satu hal. karena gue adalah gue. musti gue sendiri. i can't take things too for granted. mungkin salah gue ya. mungkin.

quote of my day: "WHATEVER!!" --from clueless, the movie--

decoding and encoding. blech

do you know how is it like to listen and writing, well, basically, communicating, not in your mother tounge? well it might be easy for some of you, but it obviously not easy pour moi.

and yup, i still write in indonesian *and think, obviously*, even in a lecture class. i found it's so hard to listen what my lecture said, and write that in english as well. i usually just jot everything down in any language which comes to my mind first. it's sorta like decoding and encoding two languages at the same time. it's almost the same as looking the signifiers without having that signifieds meaning in our mind. get it? don't worry if you don't get that, it's just a lil tiny bit from my everyday communication class. frustrating isn't it? T_T

funny how some people, indonesian as can be, like to brag about how good their english are. what's with NOT speaking english all the time? *bitch mode on*

quote of my day: i'm bored i'm bored i'm bored. -me-

was i ever loved by you?

hey hooo, just a quick copy-and-paste-from-another-website, before i blow my head off due to this illness. don't know why this song keep running thru my head, since i watched bridget jones's diary couple of days ago.


Out of Reach-Gabrielle
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never meant to be
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
But now I'm so confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never meant to be

Out of reach,
So far You never gave your heart
In my reach,
I can see
There's a life out there
For me

so there ya go, pathetic isn't it? a girl who spends the entire weekend just sitting in front of the computer, writing cheesy stuffs, watch cheesy movies and read cheesy flicks. oh well...

schindler's list. *basi ya saya?*

it's just amazing how the jews could still survive the holocaust. hell, i know nothing about holocaust and jews, but i still do think that the holocaust can be seen as one of the darkest sides of human history.

oh i can't just continue writing this entry. still so davastated seeing how one's life can be that priceless.

PS: i'm sick today. sick as ever. in fact this is the first fever i've ever gotten since i live in melbourne. and i hate it cuz that means i can't go to hoobastank concert tonite. i hate it i hate it i hate it.

PPS: and yes, people, i still need your comments on this! thanks a bunch!

quote of my day: 'whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.' -from schindler's list-

once again about friendster! i need a help!

hola all! blogging from campus now, and it's still 11 AM and i've already finished my 9AM lecture on electronic society. got five classes today (yup, horrifying five classes!), one down, four more to go! go meeee! *sigh*

so anyway, imma talk about friendster here. i'm sure you're all already aware of what friendster is, and i believe most of you are an active friendster user yourself. now i want to talk about that is about its relation with culture, particularly indonesian culture. actually this is not only my rambling thoughts, cuz i actually am going to write a 3000-words essay about friendster, and how friendster actually is reflecting indonesian culture (and i'm talking about our collective virtues and norms here).

so guys, if you have any thought(s) about friendster, please drop me a message, a comment, or you can email me, of even message me on friendster (if you're in my personal network, that is).

so here are the questions about friendster:
1. are you a friendster user? if so, how long have you been using it?
2. are you addidted to it? why and how?
3. are your friends' profiles affect you on how you write your profile?
4 do you often write testimonial? do you think testimonials important? if so, why?
5. how many friends do you have? do you think by making more friends means you're somewhat more 'attractive' in the real world?
6. what about picture? how often do you change your pictures? what pictures you usually put on friendster?
7. why do you think friendster is so popular in indonesia? how useful is that?
8. have you have any other thoughts on friendster (apart from my questions)?

so there. help me please, cuz i need to write this essay in two weeks time. once again, if you have any other thoughts, or even inquires, just leave comments here, and i'll try my best to get back at you. your help is very much appreciated :)

quote of my day: help me fillin this lil survey up, will you? thx :) -me-

love actually!

i just finished watching love actually for the only-god-knows-how-many-times-i-watched-that-movie, one of the greatest love movies of all time. at least in my opinion though. it's just amazing to see how love works. in overall, i'm gonna quote one of the lines here, 'what is love if not about a total agony?' sheessh i just realised how love can be so devastating, especially if you can't be with the one you love most of the time. talking about the inevitably time n space contraints here.. :(

sorry about my rambling thoughts today, i still dunno how a movie can bring me into this kinda mood i'm having right now...
so here's a song from the movies, for those of you who are in love..

God Only Knows--Beach Boys

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what i'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what i'd be without you
God only knows what i'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Well life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what i'd be without you

quote of my day: 'my wasted heart will always love you' -the guy from love actually-

melbourne itu...

hari ini sangat dingin. dengan tidak adanya matahari sampai jam 11 siang, membuat gue yang baru bangun tidur jadi gak mau pergi kemana2. tapi apa daya, gue musti tetep ke city buat ngurus2 ini itu.

alhasil pergilah gue ke city bersama andin n iin *housemate2 saya*, dan dengan full amunition (eg 5 lapis baju), dan kita pun makan dan menemui bokapnya yang kebeneran emang lagi di melbourne. trus abis makan ya kita ngurus si urusan ini itulah dan segala tetek bengek lainnya.

hasil total perjalanan hari ini: kita basah, kita keujanan, kita pusing, kita puyeng tujuh keliling, dan kita gak mood buat ngapa2in lagi for the rest of the day. dan guess what, ini baru jam 5 sore. what am i gonna do? dan ini weekend. weekend should be fun and fine you know. and why oh why i suddenly have this mood break down? T_T

so anyway, i'm off to sleep now. in-wind disease kalo kata orang jawa, alias masuk angin.

quote of my day: NOTHING! cuz today's sucky. -me-

kawan oh kawan lihatlah lihat !

[the image here has been removed due to a complaint by someone. if you still want to see the image, just holla at me and i'll give you the link. apology for your inconvinience]

hehe this was created by dimpol, one of my best friends back in j-town. the girl in the red shirt was me, taken waaayyy back then, back to the 2002.. i was so thin back then huhuhu T_T
so this is his creation, made with i dunno what and dunno how. so it's so kewl for me. for a person who doesn't know a thing about design graphic at all. so i just love it. love it so much indeed. i thank dimpol sooo much for this. sering2 ya pooolll!! :D

on a completely different topic, i just got back from the city with egi, and we went to max brenner's chocolate bar. oh my goodness, that's the first ultimate chocolate bar i've ever gone to! luv the jargon: brings the chocolate culture to the world. kewl, innit? and the fact that it is indeed brings the culture of chocolate to the world, well, at least for now, to the city of melbourne, really amazed me. now that's what i called innovation. love it once. love it twice. love it thrice. *LOL* a very nice place to hang out for a chocoholic like moi.

and oh, one more thing. my capitalist side took over this arvo. so i bought a shirt at mango. a blue-ish colour. well actually i didn't really like it, but i bought that just to satisty my capitalist passion ^_^ so there goes my extra money for today! T_T no more fancy restaurant and cafes for the rest of the weekend, which is good, since i've decided to stay at home this weekend and sit my ass in front of the computer (not for chatting and browse around the net, but to do my thing on electronic society). yep, i'm gonna do a short essay and am gonna conduct a tiny little survey on friendster. so there, wish me luck people! :)

quote of my day: "hey britney! open up!" egi, pretends to be rachel, whilst buzzing up into my apartment.

melankolis hoho :">

hola! here's a lil of my thought, from a lil bit of moi! dedicated to nobody, written whilst i was a bit sentimental and weird kinda mood. dunno what and how i done this. huhuhu T_T

apakah ini akan menjadi angin?
angin sepoi yang menentramkan, menghanyutkan. dan ketika sepoinya hilang, akan meninggalkan bekas segar. bahagia.

ataukah angin puting beliung, yang tugasnya adalah datang, secara tiba-tiba, lalu memporakporandakan apa saja yang ada di depannya? musnah, rusak. hancur.

ataukah hanya sekadar angin lalu?yang berlalu, berlari sambil berlalu. atau berlalu sambil berlari? yang tidak meninggalkan bekas apapun. yang kedatangannya tak terperi. pun kepergiannya, tak bertanda.

punyaku, angin sepoi yang hampir bertabrakan dengan angin ribut, sambil berusaha agar menjadi angin lalu.

punyamu? tolong jawab ya, aku lelah.

--aku--

quote of my day: "hello! welcome to the cynical kinda world, population, you!" -jack, speaking to will, in will and grace-

happy 24 dear! :)

today's my man's bday! woohooo!!

i should be happy for this. but no, i can't be as happy as can be, since he's like three hours away by plane from melbourne. we're in completely different time zone. geez, i wish i was there to celebrate this big day. but hey, this is really not a big day after all, innit? come to think of it, bday is not to celebrate our age addition whatsoever. but i see it merely as a decrease of our actual life, or age, you can say? say, you're gonna die in 40 years from now. with this age addition, that means you're will be over no longer in 40 years, rite? it's now 39 left. so what are you gonna do to fill these years? time flies y'know, it really does... *huwah jadi bingung*

hoho it's just my opinion though. i must have gone mad since i couldn't sleep last nite... geez i really really wish that i was in perth rite now.. this damn distance :(

anyways, back to the main topic...

HAPPY BDAY IRWANKU. MAY GOD PROVIDES YOU BLESSINGS AMONG OBTACLES :) *hugsss and kisses*

jadi..

laptop saya benar2 bermasalah. laptop yang cuma saya sayangi setengah hati karena LCD yang belang2 kuning putih gak jelas itu terkena virus bernama bloodhound.w32.ep. apaan si tu? udah tau yang punya gaptek segaptek2nya, malah pake kena virus. kata ndun musti reformat. kata egi gitu juga. the thing is, males banget reformat hari gini! udahlah gak ngerti, udah gitu due date tugas2 juga mulai berdatangan.. sumpah yaa.. semester ini kok kayanya stress sekali yaa..

so yesterday i was trying to make my life a bit more organised. so i was jotting down all of the due dates of my assignments, tasks, presentations, exams, including a long term plan of my self indulgement *talking about concerts and concerts here*. and guess what what i've found? i've found out that i have two freakking essays due date and a deadly presentation on the same week?

so guys, my life gonna be over by the end of this august. see ya guys, thanks for everything you have given me. i'm so dead. >.<

quote of my day: "i'm so dead this semester!" -me, talking to jolyn-

bored

i'm so bored i could die.

asliiiii bosan sekaliiii sayaaa!!! ini semua gara2 kuliah, masa baru week 3, gue udah dipaksa bertapa di lab computer yang gak ada fasilitas cetingnya sama sekali, n ive been forced to drag my ass into the library, just to get bunches of sources that i actually i need to death, yet so boring to read and so hard to absorb? asliii bisa gillaaa!!! huhuhu nasiib.. nasiibbb >.<

ok so i just write few from my stupid rambling thoughts:
- pingin pulang, tapi gak bisa. selain ujan di luar, tapi juga banyak banget reading yang musti gue baca. abis ini ke library pulak. akhir2 ini melbourne kok kurang ajar ya dinginnya? T_T

-abis nonton white chicks kemaren sama ndun, it was damn good! you gotta watch it! it was not good 'good',as in so-called sophisticated good, but, it was good in a term of good 'funny'. i'm talking about laughing my ass-off yesterday. hohoho "^_^"v

-pacar saya oh pacar saya akan berulang tahun tanggal 11 agustus ini. any idea for the gift? cuz i'm totally running out of idea of what present should i give him. baju, basi sekali. sepatu, udah pernah. yang mahal seperti laptop? wah musti nunggu gue kaya dulu tu kayanya. apa yaaa??

-saya pingin pipis. tapi kalo kompienya gue tinggal, bakal direbut orang. maklum, ini dikampus a.k.a public sphere.

doohhh naas sekali nasib saya hari ini. ibuuuu aku ingin pulaaaangggg!!!

houston we have a problem!

our internet at home is not working.! >.< according to andin, it's the virus. oh i'm so tired working on virus again. andin said there's no way she's gonna reformat the computer again.. so we currently don't have any internet at our home. and it scares me.

and what scares me more is the fact that i can no longer live without the internet, and of course, my computer. i was doing OK, back then, without internet and computer. i did all my my assignments without advanced technology so-called computer. i organised all of my stuff from 'the so-called real world', not 'the so-called cyber world'. as for now, well, i still use my books, pens and other non-advanced technologies, but hell i barely can do anything without internet and computer. i now have to go to uni, in order to use internet, just to get my reading list from all of my subject. it's supposed to be my day off you know. and it's friday! >.<

oh well, it's just amazing to see how internet and computer have changed our lives, innit? any help for my technical internet problem?

quote of my day: "our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -martin luther king, jr.-

cinnamon gum!

have you ever, in your whole life, tasted cinnamon chewing gum? if you have, then you know how is it like to have a senseless tounge like mine today.
they should've put some sort of warning on the packaging: CAUTION: this product numbs your tounge. non excessive usage, even, can cause you a senseless tounge. proceed on your own risk. T_T

quote of my day: "when i'm talking about gulf wars, i always think about series of video games." -lisa gye, my lecture on issues on electronic media-

emotionally distracted

i am very emotional today. dunno why. i hate myself bcuz of this. maybe i take things too for granted. maybe. i hate being too emotional :(

on a lighter note, from this day on, i'm gonna put a quote of my day 'feature' everytime i post. it's sort of different from the 'quote of the day' on the right table. if that one is from a site, this feature is from my everyday life. have a bit emotional touch with my real life here. :)

quote of my day: "mi, lagi ngaps? gw udah liat foto2nya. hehehe, lagi ngapain? selain lagi laper tentunya."

pingin ngepost

pernah kepikiran gak, kenapa huruf2 yang ada di keyboard kita kaya gini urutannya? dari dulu saya mikirnya itu karena posisi tangan kita aja yang ngebikin mudah ngetiknya. komposisi huruf2 gitu.

ternyata..

itu dibikin biar ngetiknya emang complicated! jadi jaman dulu, berhubung mesin tik *ya, belum keyboard yang kita2 pake sekarang ini* masih jaman rikiplik (emon in catatan si boy, 80an) banget, dan kalo dibikin yang gampang2 jadi malahan suka nge-jammed alias nyangkut mesih tiknya, jadi dibikin ribet. gila ya. gak kepikiran. hehehe

dan alasannya komposisi keyboardnya gak pernah diganti, ya simply because we're used to that already.. and it called dependence path, on a electronic society term.. gitu. there, have a little piece of my lecture! enjoy ^^